CELEBRATING LIFE and FAMILY

To say that 2010 was a difficult year is a gross understatement. She had received the news that no woman wants to hear – “You have breast cancer.” I can only imagine what it must be like to hear that news. What went through her mind? What went through the husband’s? How does one prepare for something like that? And that was just the beginning of a long and arduous journey.

Although I am not privy to the details, my guess is that one of the first and most difficult tasks was to break the news to her children – two college age kids – one young woman, one young man. What was it like for them? She has always been strong and determined – always there for them. How could this be that this woman – their giver of life and caretaker for so long - could now be facing an illness that could take her from them, too fast and too soon?

Then there were the treatments...

Chemotherapy is designed to kill cancer cells. Unfortunately, the chemicals can't tell the difference between a cancer cell and a healthy cell. So chemotherapy eliminates not only the fast-growing cancer cells but also other fast-growing cells in the body, including hair and blood cells. The side effects include low white blood cell count, low red blood cell count, low platelet count, nausea, vomiting, fatigue, and hair loss. She persevered through all of this, and almost a full year after the initial diagnosis, she was pronounced cancer-free.

Just as I cannot imagine how stunningly difficult it must have been to be told that cancer is present in her body, I likewise cannot imagine the joy – the elation – she and her family must have felt when they received this good news. This was news worth celebrating – and so they did…

I’m not sure whose idea it was – the husband’s, the daughter’s, or the son’s – I suppose it doesn’t really matter. From what I understand, the “kids” did quite a bit of the planning and pulled together a beautiful, elegant combination celebration and birthday party, as she was soon turning 50. There were over 100 people at the party, and my wife and I were blessed to be among them.

The guest of honor looked beautiful. Her hair has grown back, and she wears it in a short, somewhat spiked style that few women could carry off – on her it looked perfect. Her husband just looked incredibly happy. The son and daughter were in constant motion as they tended to the needs of the crowd that had gathered to celebrate a life.

The best part of the evening came when the husband and wife spoke to the crowd…

He spoke of the woman he had married twenty five years ago with a combination of tenderness, love, and admiration. He talked of her great strength and determined spirit. He told us of her efforts to be an encourager to the other women who were going through the same treatment cycles as she. He praised his children for the gentle, loving and tender support they offered to their mom.

She referred to her husband as her ”rock” and how he always said just the right thing at the right time. She thanked her parents for raising her to be a “fighter.” Most importantly, she thanked God.

As I sat among the crowd, I found myself thinking about God’s design for the family. The “traditional” family is under great attack in our nation and around the world, but the family I observed that evening demonstrated that God’s design is what is best. Whether they knew it or not, that family brought glory to God by honoring His design.

Here before us we had a man who loves his wife as he should – as Christ loved the church (Eph 5:25), a woman who respects her husband (Eph 5:33), and children who honored their father and mother (Eph 6:2). The “traditional” family is a Biblical family, and when its members submit the biblical design, and its designer, it’s a beautiful thing worthy of honor.

To Nita and Bill – I pray that God will continue to bless your marriage and that you may grow old together with a maturing, deepening love for one another.

To Cassie and Sam – I pray that you will continue to honor your parents – even when they grow into old age, and that you will remember their example should God choose to bless you with families of your own.

May it be so…

In Christ –

John

Soli Deo Gloria

THE DANGER OF SELF-SUFFICIENCY

We sat together in the local Starbuck’s on a Saturday morning. He sipped a hot chocolate while I enjoyed my usual black, bold coffee, and we talked about the need for consistent time spent in prayer and the reading of the word of God. One older guy (me) and one young man (him), wrestling together with the obstacles that interfere with these critical disciplines of a believer in Jesus Christ.

My young, mid-twenties friend had approached me a few weeks beforehand, and asked that I consider an “accountability relationship.” I am ashamed to admit it, but my first thought was “I don’t have the time”. However, I told him that I would pray about it. The Lord has taught me a number of things over the last decade, and one of them is that when He brings people across my path, I am to slow down and pay attention. As I prayed about this young man and his request, it wasn’t long before I knew that I must take the time to engage with him. So there we were – talking in Starbuck’s on a cold Saturday morning in January, 2011.

Like most people, we are different from one another in some respects, and alike in others. He is a “technology person – I am not. He has his Bible on his smart phone – mine is a ratty old paper version held together by duct tape. He doesn’t take notes – I try to write everything down. He is very, very smart – I barely cross the threshold of average in that department.

There are other differences to be sure, but we are also similar in two very important ways. One similarity is good. One is not. First – we are brothers in the Lord. We both know – and know that we know – that Christ has saved us. This of course is good. Second – we are both prone to self-sufficiency. This is not good. Here is what I mean…

As a young Christian, I believed that I could live a life worthy of my calling (Eph 4:1) in my own strength. After all, I was a fairly well disciplined person and very independent – or so I thought. I rarely asked anyone for help, in any area of my life. God himself was relegated to a subordinate role. I was the Lone Ranger and he was my faithful companion Tonto – always riding a few steps behind me, and ready to come to my aid when things got really bad. Because I was riding without the counsel of God and of other, more mature Christians, things did get really bad from time to time.

A life of self-sufficiency and independence is not what God desires for me or you. A life of “God-sufficiency” and interdependence is what He calls us to. I now understand that the law of sin is constantly at work within me, and there is absolutely no chance that my “self” could ever be sufficient to live life as I should. I also understand that God has designed us to live as parts of one body – interdependently. (See 1 Cor 12:12-26)

I wish that I had the good sense of my mid-twenties friend when I was young. I have great respect for him because he was willing to step out in faith and with courage and say “I can’t do this alone.” The reality is that none of us can.

As we talked that day in Starbuck’s, I realized that God was using our conversation – often my own words – to remind me that there are areas of my life that I need to re-examine. It seems that when two hands are joined together, it’s hard to tell which one was extended FOR help, and which was extended TO help.

In Christ -

John

Soli Deo Gloria